Donald Trump Funny Quotes
Some of Donald Trump’s quotes have been pretty outrageous and funny since he became president.
Here are some of the funniest and most outrageous ones.
Crazy things that Donald Trump said while he was president
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io5V8JBHWb0
- “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.”
- “I know more about ISIS than the generals do. Believe me.”
- “I could care less about the political correctness.”
- “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”
- “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
- “I think Vladimir Putin is a very strong leader who takes care of his country.”
- “If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?”
- “I’m like a smart person. I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years.”
- “The wall just got 10 feet higher.”
- “And I’m also very much of a germaphobe, by the way, believe me.”
- “What do you have to lose? It’s going to be tremendous. We’re going to have jobs, we’re going to bring back the wealth, we’re going to take care of our military, we’re going to take care of our vets. We’re going to start winning again.”
- “I’m not a schmoozer. I’m a fighter.”
- “These are stupid people. These are very, very stupid people.”
- “The United States has become a dumping ground for everybody else’s problems.”
- “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever.”
- “Ted Cruz is a total liar. He’s lied about Ben Carson when he said Carson was dropping out of the race.”
- “I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall.”
- “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”
- “It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”
- “What a crowd, what a turnout.”
Best Jokes and Quotes that Donald Trump made about other presidents
- “I was going to say something extremely rough to President Obama, but I refrained.”
- “[Barack Obama] is the founder of ISIS. He is the founder of ISIS, OK? He’s the founder. He founded ISIS. And I would say the co-founder would be crooked Hillary Clinton.”
- “I watched Hillary Clinton tonight. … And she lied again like she’s been lying for the last 15 years. She’s a liar.”
- “I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”
- “I have evidence that
Barack Obama
was born in Kenya. I have a birth certificate.” - “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud.”
1984
Quote:
“I like to be good at what I do. But I don’t go around bragging about it.”
Context:
Early interview with a local news station about his rising fame in New York real estate.
Location:
Local NYC television interview (exact station not widely cited).
1987
Quote:
“You can’t be scared. You do your thing, you hold your ground, you stand up tall.”
Context:
From his book The Art of the Deal. He was describing his approach to making deals.
Location:
The Art of the Deal, published 1987.
Quote:
“It doesn’t matter what the media writes as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of [omitted].”
Context:
Allegedly said during promotion for The Art of the Deal, reflecting his early swagger.
Location:
Quoted in various interviews, though exact source is debated.
1989
Quote:
“If people would leave me alone, I’d enjoy my life a lot more. But I guess that’s not possible.”
Context:
After his divorce from Ivana Trump started attracting intense tabloid coverage.
Location:
Press statement in New York City.
1990
Quote:
“You have to think anyway, so why not think big?”
Context:
Common Trump phrase also found in his book Trump: Surviving at the Top.
Location:
Multiple interviews, repeated often.
1992
Quote:
“Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score.”
Context:
Reflecting on his business ups and downs.
Location:
Interview with New York Magazine.
1993
Quote:
“It’s always good to do things nice and easy, but sometimes you have to do it rough.”
Context:
Remarks on negotiating tactics.
Location:
Speech at a real estate conference (often cited but rarely pinned to an exact venue).
1996
Quote:
“I’d like to own a well-run casino on the moon if it were possible.”
Context:
Joking about expansion plans when asked how far he’d take his casinos.
Location:
TV interview on CNN’s Larry King Live.
1997
Quote:
“I think I’ve really made a lot of sacrifices. I work very, very hard.”
Context:
Humorous because he described “working hard” as a sacrifice.
Location:
Interview with Playboy magazine.
1999
Quote:
“I’m the number one draw in real estate. And the ratings say so.”
Context:
Boasting about his brand value.
Location:
Press conference in Trump Tower.
2000s Quotes
2000
Quote:
“I may run for President someday. Who knows?”
Context:
Musing about a Reform Party run. He actually formed an exploratory committee that year.
Location:
Meet the Press interview, NBC.
2001
Quote:
“I’m a big believer in cleaning up your own mess.”
Context:
Possibly referencing business debt or cleaning up Ground Zero (he made various statements after 9/11).
Location:
Various TV interviews post-9/11, not pinned to a single show.
2002
Quote:
“I treat my business like a good woman. With respect. But you have to be strong.”
Context:
Answer to a reporter asking about his approach to his companies.
Location:
Brief interview snippet widely quoted in tabloids.
2003
Quote:
“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously.”
Context:
From his 2004 book How to Get Rich, but he first mentioned it during filming in 2003.
Location:
The Apprentice set, repeated in the book.
2004
Quote:
“I have a great head of hair. It’s not a wig, in case you were wondering.”
Context:
Joking to reporters about rumors of wearing a toupee during The Apprentice Season 1.
Location:
Press call for The Apprentice.
2005–2008 Quotes
2005
Quote:
“You have to go into the streets sometimes to get the deals done.”
Context:
Talking about hands-on negotiations. People found it funny because he was known to stay in his tower.
Location:
Business conference, New York City.
2006
Quote:
“If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Context:
On The View in March 2006. It got awkward laughs.
Location:
The View talk show.
2007
Quote:
“My IQ is one of the highest – and you all know it. Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure.”
Context:
Early version of a “high IQ” boast, which he later repeated on Twitter.
Location:
Appearance on CNN or Fox (often referenced, exact show uncertain).
2008
Quote:
“I was never a big believer in group projects. I work best alone.”
Context:
Response to a question about how he leads teams.
Location:
The Apprentice press event.
2009–2011 Quotes
2009
Quote:
“I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”
Context:
This line appeared first in an interview joke, then famously repeated in a 2012 tweet.
Location:
Possibly said in casual conversation at Trump Tower and repeated publicly.
2010
Quote:
“Part of the beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
Context:
Defending his qualifications for future office or big projects.
Location:
Interview with ABC’s Good Morning America.
2011
Quote:
“My fingers are long and beautiful, as are various other parts of my body.”
Context:
Defense after Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter teased him about short fingers.
Location:
Interview with Page Six (New York Post).
Quote:
“I’m well qualified to deal with China. I’ve done deals with China.”
Context:
Potential 2012 run talk, bragging about negotiation skills.
Location:
Interview on Fox News.
Quote:
“Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest.”
Context:
Early version of a tweet claiming high intelligence, a theme in Trump’s humor.
Location:
Twitter.
2012 Quotes
2012
Quote:
“Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog.”
Context:
Random commentary on Twilight stars’ relationship. People found it bizarre.
Location:
Twitter, October 2012.
Quote:
“I have so many websites, I have them all over the place.”
Context:
Claiming internet dominance in a joking manner.
Location:
Twitter remark in 2012.
Quote:
“Everyone tells me, ‘Please run for President.’”
Context:
He was hinting heavily at 2016, even in 2012.
Location:
Several interviews (Fox & Friends, CNN).
Quote:
“The ‘haters’ and losers keep tweeting, but it’s okay – they can’t help themselves.”
Context:
Another tweet mocking his critics.
Location:
Twitter, 2012.
2013 Quotes
2013
Quote:
“Wind farms are disgusting looking, terrible for people’s health.”
Context:
Longtime crusade against wind turbines, especially near his golf courses.
Location:
Scottish press conference.
Quote:
“Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight!”
Context:
Tweet about the 2013 Oscars, complaining about the hosts and nominees.
Location:
Twitter.
Quote:
“You’re fired!”
Context:
Signature catchphrase from The Apprentice, repeated many times on-air.
Location:
Ongoing since 2004, but still used in 2013 episodes.
Quote:
“I have a Gucci store that’s worth more than Romney.”
Context:
Criticizing Mitt Romney’s 2012 run and comparing net worth.
Location:
Possibly a tweet or rally commentary after the election.
2014 Quotes
2014
Quote:
“I’m worth far too much for anyone to understand.”
Context:
Bragging about net worth speculation.
Location:
Interview with Forbes.
Quote:
“If I don’t win the golf club lawsuit, I’ll build another one next door.”
Context:
Joking while discussing legal battles over golf courses.
Location:
Speech at a Trump National Golf Club event.
Quote:
“The fake media hates me saying this, but I always end up right.”
Context:
Prelude to his 2015 campaign style, complaining about “fake media.”
Location:
Twitter, 2014.
Quote:
“I believe in always having a prenuptial. It’s just good business.”
Context:
Relationship advice, offered with a grin.
Location:
Interview on Extra.
Here’s a well-structured and readable version of your content with proper formatting for clarity:
2015 (Start of Presidential Campaign)
June 16, 2015
Quote:
“They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”
Context:
Presidential campaign announcement speech.
Location:
Trump Tower, NYC.
Quote:
“I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.”
Context:
Same campaign kickoff speech.
Location:
Trump Tower, NYC.
August 2015
Quote:
“Only Rosie O’Donnell.”
Context:
Response to Megyn Kelly about calling women ‘fat pigs, dogs, slobs…’
Location:
Fox News Republican debate in Cleveland.
September 2015
Quote:
“I’m really rich. I’m not saying that in a bragging way, that’s the kind of mindset you need.”
Context:
Defending his qualifications.
Location:
Campaign speech in Iowa.
November 2015
Quote:
“I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me.”
Context:
Talking tough on terrorism.
Location:
Campaign rally, multiple states.
December 2015
Quote:
“I know words. I have the best words.”
Context:
Praising his own vocabulary.
Location:
Rally in South Carolina.
2016 (Presidential Race Heats Up)
January 2016
Quote:
“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters.”
Context:
Bragging about loyal supporters.
Location:
Rally in Sioux Center, Iowa.
February 2016
Quote:
“We won with poorly educated. I love the poorly educated.”
Context:
Victory speech after winning the Nevada caucus.
Location:
Las Vegas.
March 3, 2016
Quote:
“Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And, [gestures], I guarantee you there’s no problem.”
Context:
Retort to Marco Rubio’s “small hands” joke.
Location:
GOP debate in Detroit.
March 2016
Quote:
“Lyin’ Ted.”
Context:
Nickname for Ted Cruz, repeated often.
Location:
Campaign rallies, interviews.
April 2016
Quote:
“Crooked Hillary.”
Context:
Nickname for Hillary Clinton, repeated throughout the campaign.
Location:
Rallies, Twitter.
June 2016
Quote:
“Look at my African American over here!”
Context:
Pointing to a supporter in the crowd.
Location:
Campaign rally in Redding, California.
July 2016
Quote:
“Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails.”
Context:
Encouraging a foreign power to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails.
Location:
Press conference in Florida.
October 2016
Quote:
“Such a nasty woman.”
Context:
Said under his breath about Hillary Clinton during the final debate.
Location:
Presidential debate in Las Vegas.
Quote:
“I have a winning temperament. She has no temperament.”
Context:
Another debate jab at Hillary Clinton.
Location:
Presidential debate.
November 2016
Quote:
“It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”
Context:
Tweet mocking climate change concerns.
Location:
Twitter, repeated from earlier tweets but retweeted in 2016.
2017 (Early Presidency)
January 20, 2017
Quote:
“This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.”
Context:
Part of his inaugural address, sounded dramatic and surprising.
Location:
U.S. Capitol, Inauguration Day.
January 2017
Quote:
“We had the biggest audience in the history of inaugural speeches.”
Context:
Controversy about the crowd size.
Location:
CIA Headquarters visit, next day.
February 2017
Quote:
“Nobody knew that healthcare could be so complicated.”
Context:
Surprising statement about healthcare legislation.
Location:
Meeting with governors at the White House.
May 2017
Quote:
“Despite the constant negative press covfefe.”
Context:
Infamous late-night tweet with a typo.
Location:
Twitter.
July 2017
Quote:
“North Korea best not make any more threats… They will be met with fire and fury.”
Context:
Warning to North Korea with intense phrasing.
Location:
Golf club in Bedminster, NJ.
August 2017
Quote:
“I am the least racist person there is anywhere in the world.”
Context:
Defending himself after Charlottesville controversy.
Location:
Press conference at Trump Tower.
October 2017
Quote:
“I’m a very intelligent person.”
Context:
Stating intelligence again.
Location:
Fox News interview.
December 2017
Quote:
“People are saying, ‘Merry Christmas’ again!”
Context:
Claiming victory in a “war on Christmas.”
Location:
Various rally speeches, e.g., Pensacola, FL.
2018
January 2018
Quote:
“I’m a very stable genius.”
Context:
Tweet defending mental fitness.
Location:
Twitter.
Quote:
“Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?”
Context:
Shocked lawmakers in a DACA meeting.
Location:
White House bipartisan meeting (reported by multiple outlets).
February 2018
Quote:
“I would have run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon.”
Context:
Talking about how he would’ve confronted the Parkland school shooter.
Location:
White House meeting with governors.
May 2018
Quote:
“I have the absolute right to pardon myself.”
Context:
Tweet about presidential powers.
Location:
Twitter.
September 2018
Quote:
“One of the wettest we’ve ever seen, from the standpoint of water.”
Context:
Describing Hurricane Florence.
Location:
Video message on hurricane relief.
Quote:
“He wrote me beautiful letters, and we fell in love.”
Context:
Referring to Kim Jong-un.
Location:
Rally in West Virginia.
October 2018
Quote:
“I’m not a baby. I know these things.”
Context:
Refuting claims he’s naive on foreign policy.
Location:
Interview with 60 Minutes.
November 2018
Quote:
“I’m doing a great job. That I can tell you.”
Context:
Frequent expression of self-praise.
Location:
Multiple press sprays and interviews.
December 2018
Quote:
“I shut down the government for my wall. I will take the mantle. I will be the one to shut it down.”
Get Smarter on US News, History, and the Constitution
Context:
Meeting with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer.
Location:
Oval Office.
2019
January 2019
Quote:
“I never said Mexico was going to pay for the wall.”
Context:
Contradicting his past campaign slogan.
Location:
Press Q&A at the White House.
February 2019
Quote:
“We have people that are stupid… we have people that are political hacks.”
Context:
Insulting U.S. intelligence agencies.
Location:
Public remarks from the Oval Office.
March 2019
Quote:
“I like real news, not fake news. You’re fake news.”
Context:
Dismissing a reporter’s question.
Location:
Press conference, White House.
April 2019
Quote:
“Nobody disobeys my orders.”
Context:
Reaction to the Mueller Report’s examples of aides ignoring him.
Location:
White House lawn Q&A.
August 2019
Quote:
“I am the Chosen One.”
Context:
While discussing the U.S.–China trade war.
Location:
White House lawn, he briefly looked at the sky.
September 2019
Quote:
“I want nothing. I want nothing. I want no quid pro quo.”
Context:
Defending himself in Ukraine call controversy.
Location:
Notes he read aloud to reporters on the White House lawn.
November 2019
Quote:
“It’s called ‘transcript.’ I have a transcript.”
Context:
Repeatedly referring to his phone call transcript with Ukraine.
Location:
Twitter and press conferences.
December 2019
Quote:
“I wouldn’t mind a long impeachment process, to be honest.”
Context:
Downplaying House impeachment.
Location:
Rally in Michigan.
2020
March 2020
Quote:
“It will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away.”
Context:
Early COVID-19 briefing.
Location:
White House press room.
April 2020
Quote:
“I see the disinfectant, where it knocks [the virus] out in a minute… is there a way we can do something like that, by injection?”
Context:
Infamous COVID briefing where he floated injecting disinfectant.
Location:
White House Coronavirus Task Force briefing.
May 2020
Quote:
“I tested very positively in another sense… I tested positively toward negative.”
Context:
Confusing explanation of a COVID test result.
Location:
White House lawn to reporters.
July 2020
Quote:
“Person, woman, man, camera, TV.”
Context:
Demonstrating his memory test.
Location:
Interview with Fox News’ Chris Wallace.
September 2020
Quote:
“I don’t think science knows, actually.”
Context:
Dismissing climate science about wildfires.
Location:
Briefing in California.
October 2020
Quote:
“I’m immune. So the president is in very good shape.”
Context:
After recovering from COVID-19.
Location:
Fox News phone interview.
November 2020
Quote:
“We won this election in a landslide.”
Context:
Election night claim, though results said otherwise.
Location:
White House East Room.
2021 (End of Presidency and Beyond)
January 6, 2021
Quote:
“We will never give up. We will never concede.”
Context:
Speech at the “Stop the Steal” rally.
Location:
Near the White House, Washington, D.C.
January 2021
Quote:
“The media is the biggest problem we have… they’re fake.”
Context:
Final days of his term, repeated theme.
Location:
Speech or social media statement (before he was banned).
February 2021
Quote:
“We’ll be back in some form.”
Context:
Farewell remarks on leaving the White House.
Location:
Joint Base Andrews farewell ceremony.
April 2021
Quote:
“It’s a disgrace what’s happening. Absolute disgrace.”
Context:
Criticizing Biden’s early presidency.
Location:
Phone interview on Fox News, first big post-presidency interview.
June 2021
Quote:
“I’m writing like crazy.”
Context:
Telling supporters he’s working on a possible memoir or statements.
Location:
Rally in Ohio.
July 2021
Quote:
“I get the best poll numbers, even though I’m not on Twitter.”
Context:
Claiming huge popularity after social media bans.
Location:
Rally in Sarasota, FL.
2022
January 2022
Quote:
“My phone call was perfect, just like the other one.”
Context:
Comparing new phone call controversies to his 2019 Ukraine call.
Location:
Statement through his office.
March 2022
Quote:
“The future belongs to patriots, not globalists.”
Context:
Recurring motto in post-presidency speeches.
Location:
Rally in South Carolina.
May 2022
Quote:
“If I were in office, Putin would never have gone in. Never.”
Context:
Claiming he could’ve prevented the Ukraine invasion.
Location:
Interview with Piers Morgan.
July 2022
Quote:
“Truth Social is hot right now. I’m number one on Truth Social.”
Context:
Praising his social media platform.
Location:
Rally in Alaska.
August 2022
Quote:
“I love the poorly educated, and they love me.”
Context:
Repeating a 2016 line.
Location:
Rally in Pennsylvania.
October 2022
Quote:
“I think I’d be a great Twitter owner… but I have my own thing now.”
Context:
Musk’s Twitter purchase. Trump joked about returning.
Location:
Interview on The Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Show.
2023
January 2023
Quote:
“I have more spirit now than I did before. You can’t fake spirit.”
Context:
Teasing a 2024 run.
Location:
Truth Social post and rally remarks.
March 2023
Quote:
“They only go after me because I’m leading in the polls by a lot.”
Context:
Complaining about investigations.
Location:
Speech at CPAC.
May 2023
Quote:
“I’ve never seen any politician who’s been treated worse than me. Yet look where I am.”
Context:
Talking about enduring criticism.
Location:
Town hall event on CNN.
July 2023
Quote:
“People say I’m controversial. But actually, I’m a very nice person.”
Context:
Common refrain in his speeches.
Location:
Rally in New Hampshire.
2024
Early 2024
Quote:
“We’re going to do even better this time, believe me.”
Context:
Said during a campaign-style speech hinting he would outperform any prior election results.
Location:
Rally in South Carolina (January 2024).
January 2024
Quote:
“We have to restore order at the border. Nobody knows it like me.”
Context:
Pushing for stricter immigration policies in a speech.
Location:
Interview on a conservative talk show.
February 2024
Quote:
“My supporters are the most loyal people in politics. It’s unbelievable.”
Context:
Boasting about his voter base while criticizing Republican primary rivals.
Location:
Public rally in Iowa.
March 2024
Quote:
“I could negotiate peace in Ukraine in 24 hours. It would be easy if they’d let me.”
Context:
Claiming unique negotiation skills on the Russia–Ukraine conflict.
Location:
Rally in Florida.
April 2024
Quote:
“We have the best chance to bring back American energy dominance. We were so close.”
Context:
Talking about reversing environmental regulations and promoting fossil fuels.
Location:
Policy speech in Texas.
May 2024
Quote:
“They tried every hoax, every scam against me. But we keep on winning.”
Context:
Reference to past investigations and accusations.
Location:
Campaign rally in Pennsylvania.
June 2024
Quote:
“If you love your country, you can’t vote for the radical left. It’s that simple.”
Context:
Typical campaign rhetoric painting opponents as extreme.
Location:
Speech at a rally in Ohio.
July 2024
Quote:
“I care about this country more than any of those other guys. Believe me.”
Context:
Another strong pitch for his patriotism.
Location:
Radio interview (details vary).
August 2024
Quote:
“They said it couldn’t be done again, but watch. We’re on our way to a massive victory.”
Context:
Confidence about winning the Republican nomination or the general election.
Location:
Campaign stop in Arizona.
September 2024
Quote:
“We need law and order in our cities. When I was president, it was much safer.”
Context:
Criticism of current administration’s handling of crime.
Location:
Rally in Michigan.
October 2024
Quote:
“The fake news is in panic mode because they see we’re way ahead in the polls.”
Context:
Reasserting “fake news” mantra.
Location:
Rally in Wisconsin.
November 2024
Quote:
“This election was perfect. We won big, the biggest numbers you’ve seen. The people spoke.”
Context:
Celebrating final results in the event he wins, or claiming victory if there’s any contest.
Location:
Post-election gathering (details vary depending on outcome).
6 Responses
These quotes are not funny or crazy. Just sad and reckless.
Trumps call for ‘termination’ of the constitution shows he is ‘over the edge’. I’d say he is ‘mental’.
One of the greatest humans that ever lived.
Donald Trump is one of the greatest presidents! MAGA!! TRUMP 2024!! TRUMP 2025!!
You are delusional, just lay off the drugs like your momma told you to OK?
Are you refering to the free drugs they’re passing out in San Fran?